Many children struggle with obeying their parents because what a child believes to be the truth and what a parent believes is the truth is different. Anytime a child differs from their parents, they think that the parent is wrong.
The other reason children struggle with obeying their parents is that they do not believe that the parent understands what they are going through. Sometimes, they are correct that the parent is not listening to everything they say. Sometimes, the parent does listen, but if the parent’s decision seems irrelevant to what the child is thinking, the child becomes convinced that the parent does not understand and, therefore, should not be obeyed.
How is this resolved? Children must always know that their parents love them. A parent should never take this for granted. A parent should never assume that because they do things for a child, the child knows that they are loved. A parent should tell their children that they love them. They should hug them. They should play with them, laugh with them, attend their functions, and compliment them when they do well. This constant reassurance allows a child to trust the parent, which will give the child the faith to obey when they do not understand the parent’s decision. This is why the most essential virtue is love (1 Corinthians 13:2).
Children must remember that there is nothing new under the sun. Even though their clothes differ, their desire to wear them and the need not to be too different are the same. Parents must listen, but children must obey and respect their parents’ authority in the Lord. A writer once said, “Youth is such a wonderful thing; we should not allow our young people to waste it.”
The story is told of a little boy riding his tricycle furiously around the block repeatedly. Finally, a policeman stopped and asked him why he was going around and around. The boy said that he was running away from home. Then the policeman asked why he kept going around the block. The boy responded, “Because my mom said I’m not allowed to cross the street.” The point is clear. Obedience will keep you close to those you love.
“Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things. So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting.” (Ecclesiastes 11:9-10; NASU)